Remember the year that Walls did a range of Magnum ice creams called the Seven Deadly Sins?
I thought I'd help them out with a new range, based on mildly annoying personality traits (the sins having been done). I wrote them a letter but they never even answered (sob!) But as the summer is coming, I thought I'd publish it here anyway:
Dear Magnum people,
I just wanted to let you know how great I thought your 7 Deadly Sins were, especially Gluttony, which I could eat all year. Greed was good too but a bit pricey, and Jealousy was nearly as good. I was curious about Lust but could never find one, and when I realised I’d somehow missed Sloth too I didn’t bother with the rest, especially Vanity, which wasn’t my sort of thing.
But I did think you’d be overjoyed with my suggestions for next year’s range: the 7 Irritating Minor Character Flaws. I’ve included a few extra in case you didn’t think all of them were suitable:
1) Irritability.
This exciting innovation in ice cream has space dust / pop rocks and bits of candy floss stuck to the chocolate casing. The inside is vanilla ice cream, although it says chocolate on the wrapper.
2) Envy.
This one is packaged in a cardboard box, so you can’t tell until you open it that they are all slightly different sizes.
3) Complacency.
This one is a slab of vanilla ice cream in a wrapper, without any chocolate or a stick. After all, they’ll probably bring their own teaspoon and a chocolate bar to go with it won’t they.
4) Lateness.
This one hasn’t quite frozen yet. But when it does, it will be really good, I promise.
5) Hypochondria.
This one has a centre of bright yellow and green lemon and lime sorbet, coated in red raspberry sauce and a white sugar-frosted lemon casing with lots of cracks in it. So refreshing!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read ... Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 .... If you haven't, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! Did it guess it right?
Puzzles and Jokes 
